Tuesday, January 25, 2011

michael buble

i don't think we should meet, i would probably want to kiss and keep you.  #softspotforguyswhocansing

like Jaeson Ma says, "Pray like it all depends on God. Work like it all depends on you."

i have six days until the semester starts, i've already picked my classical additions to my repertoire and have been perusing music book after music book for every musical theatre character and song i could possibly sing.  i've been compiling a list of characters for my own meditation, so i'll be properly prepared for any audition which sneaks up on me.  the list includes a synopsis of the musical, each female character, the vocal range, age range, character songs, and possible audition pieces to be considered.  since i have so much time on my hands and am incapable of being involved in anything at this time other than Anything Goes and my classical voice homework, it's all prepare, prepare, prepare!  my goal is to have options... once i'm done with this list, i'll look into companies and theatres i'd like to be associated with, all while keeping up with new musicals.  i'm really amped for Les Miserables coming up in redlands, i don't know how i'll possibly be able to make it out for rehearsals, but i'm auditioning anyways... and i'll couch-surf or do whatever in order to be in that production.  playing Eponine would be a dream come true, next to Christine from Phantom of the Opera... phew, it's all in His hands.

in addition to this study of mine, i've been reading amazing books like Jane Austen's Persuasion, Scot McKnight's The Blue Parakeet, Donald Miller's Blue like Jazz, Plato's Crito and Apology dialogues and studying between the CS Lewis Bible (basically an NRSV bible with selections from Clive's works) and the ESV Study Bible.  Why the ESV?  I don't know, i had been searching for a great study bible and i know the search isn't over, but i'd like to take what i can from this piece of work.  Mamabear thinks that nothing can replace the King James Version, and i am in agreement though i would to like read every translation.  in my recent studies, i am seeking for understanding and wisdom in all and i don't intend on ending my education in this manner until the day i die.  why would anyone put a cap on their understanding of the Word, or understanding of life, human nature, etc?  Sorry, i'm all for studying psychology, sociology, philosophy, theology, etc.  this is a curiosity and gift i believe God has blessed both my mother and i (probably all my siblings), she is interested in nearly EVERYTHING as am i, which is part of the reason why it's taken me so long to figure out what i love to do, and what i want to do with my days here on earth.

if i could share with you all the things i've been doing with the past week you wouldn't believe me.  i've read more, experienced more, listened to more, watched more, and done far more than i ever have in one week.  He has ignited a flame, which i can only pray and continue to pursue so not to put it out.  when i asked if whether or not to move back to the desert, i felt the Lord calling me to two things.  He called me to prepare myself and grow strong in my ability as a vocalist and as a disciple of Him and the Word.  i'm stoked to be here, to finally breathe the air of the new year without sickness of heart or body, and to be so blessed as to have a relationship with God.

praying that His Spirit is with you, guiding you in all your days,


Saturday, January 22, 2011

today was amazing.......................................................................
i won a vocal scholarship from the California Desert Chorale for my performance today.  i will then appear at their spring concerts as the featured soloist, which always fills my heart with the most sincerest joy, singing with a chorale and orchestra behind me.  thank You, Papa for subduing my fear.  xo

"music is worthless unless it can make a complete stranger break down and cry"

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


................and realizing how short of a leash she has me on. thoroughly bummed.

*** i was up for Amneris in Aida but my vocal instructor asked me to pull that production because it interfered with two Anything Goes rehearsals...  someday i WILL play Amneris. 

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

summer 2011

it's january 18th, and the sun came out to play for the weekend..  the desert is perfect this time of year, and always gets me thinking about the summer.  summer!  i have no idea what i'm going to do this summer... perhaps i should apply to positions outside california, maybe go visit a friend and enjoy the summer sun of somewhere i've never been before.  i want to do something e x t r a o r d i n a r y even in the tiniest way, oh Lord.  why am i drawn to the drama of adventure?  if this is of You, open a door; if not, calm my spirit and bring me back down to earth.  xo  love You, Papa.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Thursday, January 6, 2011

While violins play............

fall fast and sleep deep.

                         Lately my dreams have been filled with new heartaching scenes from a wedding I never attended, for a bride and groom I don't know, at a motel (yes.. motel!) I've never set foot in......... after I go through these different scenes which seem to unravel me, I always end up in the same spot, in the same staircase with one of the same three men.  The first had blonde hair that always fell in his face, and was asking me something.  The second would speak encouraging words and I called him "friend."  But the last one was what I was waiting for--- He was tall with dark hair and never spoke a word; he stared so intently into my eyes, and I never questioned it or doubted it, I simply stared back into this faceless person until I woke up.

The other night, the "friend" told me I was blind.  He said I didn't understand what I was worth and went on to tell me things I can't remember now.  All I remember is that at the end of my dream, before I awoke, he sat me down and said, "The man who will love you, and love you every day of his life will move mountains. Not mountains for you, or anything to do with you.  He will move mountains because that is who he was made to be."  --- And well frankly, I can't wait to meet him.  :)

Until then, I will continue to rest this body while Mumford & Sons, and Joshua Radin sing sweet dreams my way.  Hoping tomorrow will be the day I finally shake this cold and move some mountains of my own, or at least hug dear ones again! :)

. forever romance .

Monday, January 3, 2011

talking ol' times

about five-six years ago, my friend ryan manning and i lead a rebellion............... forty teenagers, five hours and one empty office building.......... playing tag, mafia, making pyramids, building community and friendships....

1. hey, glad we're friends.  cheers.
2. that was so illegal, what were we thinking?