the past three 1/2 months :: a season of shy + 1, 2, 3

it's amazing how much can be said, be done in just over three months :: i'm not proud of every moment, every interaction and every word.. in fact, i'm sick about it.  i'm sick that i've allowed my heart to be vulnerable, and lead astray.  i'm sick that my heart is elsewhere, and slowly i've been praying that the Lord will heal me and bring each piece of my spirit, body, mind, soul and heart back together again, mending it in only the way He can through His awesome power.  Lord please allow me to submerge and fall into You and follow You at every step.  Papa, You are so much greater and i know my ideas, thoughts and plans are nothing compared to Yours; i understand that because i have taken my life and time into my hands for these past few months, i have lost sight of all You have created me for.  heal me, Papa.  forgive me for running astray, for falling so hard i feel sick about it... heal this heart.  Lord i thank You. amen.