awake, sweet slumberer

the past three 1/2 months :: a season of shy + 1, 2, 3

2011-08-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

it's amazing how much can be said, be done in just over three months :: i'm not proud of every moment, every interaction and every word.. in fact, i'm sick about it. i'm sick that i've allowed my heart to be vulnerable, and lead astray. i'm sick that my heart is elsewhere, and slowly i've been praying that the Lord will heal me and bring each piece of my spirit, body, mind, soul and heart back together again, mending it in only the way He can through His awesome power. Lord please allow me to submerge and fall into You and follow You at every step. Papa, You are so much greater and i know my ideas, thoughts and plans are nothing compared to Yours; i understand that because i have taken my life and time into my hands for these past few months, i have lost sight of all You have created me for. heal me, Papa. forgive me for running astray, for falling so hard i feel sick about it... heal this heart. Lord i thank You. amen.

2011-06-11T15:13:00.001-07:00

missed you, Papa; been a long time since i've written last... thank You for today, for the silence and for being here with me. i love You dearly, thank You for Your Word and Wonder... xo

little big sister :: big little brother

2011-02-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

we walked to school together today....... talking about Onega days, of getting dretched in the rain... you know, the bus times.. we're forever in this together: love you, brother

[ bottomless pit ]

2011-02-07T19:19:00.000-08:00

i need to keep things moving. my mind has been so bored lately, so i've been trying to preoccupy my thoughts with class, music and words. i feel rather empty inside, nothing satisfies, and i am left wanting so much more... very Belle-sque. Lord, i pray this season may be short.

tomorrow .

2011-01-30T22:31:00.000-08:00


via lesliee

via Gaby J Photography

so eager to begin,
so eager to finish.

my semester will be sixteen weeks of nonstop motion! for those few moments of idleness, i have a stack of books waiting to be rummaged through; a couple of Ralph Waldo Emerson's essays i haven't read, and i absolutely need to finish C.S. Lewis's Yours, Jack (a compilation of letters he wrote to friends concerning his relationship with God, his beliefs, etc). considering my fascinations, i came to a conclusion about my second major (Theology & Philosophy). if i am this adamant about my studies, why limit them? i'll be in school for at least more two years with my other schooling, why not jump in? although summer school then must be in serious consideration.. hmm.. hah, it will all pan out. :)

i'm so ecstatic for the end of may, as i've mentioned the desert sun has been shining through spreading its light and calling out to me. i've been swimming in it since my wintry disease ceased its claim on me, now i am all about drinking in the sun's loveliness... i want summer to be here already, so i can start my new regiment of work, dance and rooting in a bigger town. cannot wait.

cheers to the beginning of a new semester! praying that He is with you tonight, xo

2011-01-28T08:37:00.000-08:00

i'm 23 this year .
i'm too old to be doing this .

2011-01-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

Jules, Thomness & Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. : that's what's on my mind today, keep them in your prayers today.

xo

sunny loves *

2011-01-27T16:10:00.000-08:00

(via the_Yukka)


(via weepy hollow)

2011-01-27T10:44:00.000-08:00

i am swimming in radiance. xo

blue valentine

2011-01-26T11:34:00.000-08:00

nicole jonesie and i are gonna see the 2pm screening of blue valentine...... hope it's good, i respect both Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling as actors. i hope he gets a Oscar nomination for this, although i do believe it's Colin Firth's turn to win an Oscar this year. love you, Darcy, for always. xx

happy Wednesday!

"Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice." - Ecclesiastes 4:13

2011-01-26T07:35:00.000-08:00

this verse strikes a chord with me. in my twenty some years i've come across all sorts of folks, young, old and in between. considering everything, i find it's so easy to fall into pride, self-righteousness, and arrogance when you're successful in the world's eye. maybe success has nothing to do with it, maybe it does; maybe money plays a part, maybe it's simply having the respect of a group that empowers you and feeds this inner-ego. i'm not sure. i think with any type of pride, one becomes blind in their own. my counter thought to pride is: humility (you saw this coming). humility in folks is so powerful, under-appreciated yes, but it empowers not only that person who acquires it, and practices it. no, it empowers and effects surrounding people, anyone it touches. i pray you have humility today; no matter what you're age there's still room to grow. you never know who God will speak through, it could be a neighbor you happen to catch the elevator with on your way out or your 2 year old son.

may the Holy Spirit be with you and guide you, amen.

*Note: sometimes i get eager to meet Him, i pray to the Lord and ask Him why i'm still here? He answers in His own way, of course... a way i understand... my time here isn't over, i still have work to do. with that thought, my mind has to stay open. i have to embrace whatever advice is given, take it in consideration and pray about it. it's a hard lesson to learn when breaking pride, but with it comes freedom of self.

michael buble

2011-01-25T19:02:00.000-08:00

i don't think we should meet, i would probably want to kiss and keep you. #softspotforguyswhocansing

like Jaeson Ma says, "Pray like it all depends on God. Work like it all depends on you."

2011-01-25T18:14:00.000-08:00

i have six days until the semester starts, i've already picked my classical additions to my repertoire and have been perusing music book after music book for every musical theatre character and song i could possibly sing. i've been compiling a list of characters for my own meditation, so i'll be properly prepared for any audition which sneaks up on me. the list includes a synopsis of the musical, each female character, the vocal range, age range, character songs, and possible audition pieces to be considered. since i have so much time on my hands and am incapable of being involved in anything at this time other than Anything Goes and my classical voice homework, it's all prepare, prepare, prepare! my goal is to have options... once i'm done with this list, i'll look into companies and theatres i'd like to be associated with, all while keeping up with new musicals. i'm really amped for Les Miserables coming up in redlands, i don't know how i'll possibly be able to make it out for rehearsals, but i'm auditioning anyways... and i'll couch-surf or do whatever in order to be in that production. playing Eponine would be a dream come true, next to Christine from Phantom of the Opera... phew, it's all in His hands.

in addition to this study of mine, i've been reading amazing books like Jane Austen's Persuasion, Scot McKnight's The Blue Parakeet, Donald Miller's Blue like Jazz, Plato's Crito and Apology dialogues and studying between the CS Lewis Bible (basically an NRSV bible with selections from Clive's works) and the ESV Study Bible. Why the ESV? I don't know, i had been searching for a great study bible and i know the search isn't over, but i'd like to take what i can from this piece of work. Mamabear thinks that nothing can replace the King James Version, and i am in agreement though i would to like read every translation. in my recent studies, i am seeking for understanding and wisdom in all and i don't intend on ending my education in this manner until the day i die. why would anyone put a cap on their understanding of the Word, or understanding of life, human nature, etc? Sorry, i'm all for studying psychology, sociology, philosophy, theology, etc. this is a curiosity and gift i believe God has blessed both my mother and i (probably all my siblings), she is interested in nearly EVERYTHING as am i, which is part of the reason why it's taken me so long to figure out what i love to do, and what i want to do with my days here on earth.

if i could share with you all the things i've been doing with the past week you wouldn't believe me. i've read more, experienced more, listened to more, watched more, and done far more than i ever have in one week. He has ignited a flame, which i can only pray and continue to pursue so not to put it out. when i asked if whether or not to move back to the desert, i felt the Lord calling me to two things. He called me to prepare myself and grow strong in my ability as a vocalist and as a disciple of Him and the Word. i'm stoked to be here, to finally breathe the air of the new year without sickness of heart or body, and to be so blessed as to have a relationship with God.

praying that His Spirit is with you, guiding you in all your days,

sooz

2011-01-22T23:06:00.000-08:00

today was amazing.......................................................................
i won a vocal scholarship from the California Desert Chorale for my performance today. i will then appear at their spring concerts as the featured soloist, which always fills my heart with the most sincerest joy, singing with a chorale and orchestra behind me. thank You, Papa for subduing my fear. xo

"music is worthless unless it can make a complete stranger break down and cry"

2011-01-19T20:09:00.000-08:00

bummed

................and realizing how short of a leash she has me on. thoroughly bummed.

*** i was up for Amneris in Aida but my vocal instructor asked me to pull that production because it interfered with two Anything Goes rehearsals... someday i WILL play Amneris.

summer 2011

2011-01-18T14:20:00.000-08:00

it's january 18th, and the sun came out to play for the weekend.. the desert is perfect this time of year, and always gets me thinking about the summer. summer! i have no idea what i'm going to do this summer... perhaps i should apply to positions outside california, maybe go visit a friend and enjoy the summer sun of somewhere i've never been before. i want to do something e x t r a o r d i n a r y even in the tiniest way, oh Lord. why am i drawn to the drama of adventure? if this is of You, open a door; if not, calm my spirit and bring me back down to earth. xo love You, Papa.

2011-01-15T17:03:00.001-08:00

sare's amazing .

my big little brother

2011-01-09T13:37:00.000-08:00

love you , t .

while violins play............

2011-01-06T22:51:00.000-08:00

fall fast and sleep deep.

lately my dreams have been filled with new heartaching scenes from a wedding i never attended, with a bride and groom i don't know, at a motel (yes.. motel!) i've never set foot in......... after i go through these different scenes which seem to unravel me, i always end up in the same spot, in the same stair case with one of the same three men. the other night, the shortest of the three looked into my eyes and told me i was blind. he said i didn't understand what i was worth. he then concluded with this, "the man who will love you, and love you every day of his life will move mountains." not mountains for me, to be with me, or anything to do with ME ... but he will move mountains because that is who he was made to be, and frankly... i can't wait to meet him. :)

until then, i will continue to rest this body while mumford & sons, modest mouse, and joshua radin sing sweet dreams my way....... !hoping tomorrow will be the day i will finally shake this cold and move some mountains of my own, or at least hug dear ones again! :)

. forever romance .

2011-01-06T20:07:00.000-08:00

(by lauryn holmquist)

talking ol' times

2011-01-03T02:10:00.000-08:00

about five-six years ago, my friend ryan manning and i lead a rebellion............... forty teenagers, five hours and one empty office building.......... playing tag, mafia, making pyramids, building community and friendships....

1. hey, glad we're friends. cheers.

2. that was so illegal, what were we thinking?

2010-12-28T22:09:00.001-08:00

lost my voice and the will to stay awake
n i g h t m a r e s
r e v i s i t e d
here we go !

2010-12-26T11:48:00.000-08:00

i love the feeling, all eyes holding their gaze as i walk toward the warm lights.. the music flowing through my spirit and as i sing, it's as if it was the first time i've ever expressed these words, this emotion that is eating at me, tearing my heart apart. Darlene is so right, i'm the ingenue, innocent, un-expecting. ohhh dear.

[ lesson in being ]

2010-12-01T20:23:00.000-08:00

press on, little one..
press on.. speak honestly.. work full-heartedly.. do your best to be your best..
tonight we'll sit around the fire and you can tell me tales of forest creatures as i braid your hair and pray that He keeps you..
press on, my little one..
press on..

[ there is no race to be won. there is no race to be won. ]

2010-11-06T00:42:00.001-07:00

trying hard not to think about it......
heart, why do you hurt so?

"i've been learning how to die"

2010-10-27T08:11:00.000-07:00

Lord, continue to strip away this impurities.. challenge.. teach..
i am Yours, completely. You are my Creator, my Love, my Leader.. kill these insecurities and fill me with Your Spirit, Your Word, Your Love.................................amen

thank You for waking me up this morning, Lord.

"a heart is a heavy burden"

2010-10-16T01:08:00.000-07:00

foolish, foolish girl.

becoming jane

2010-10-04T22:29:00.001-07:00

let go
focus
do

the paralyzed present

2010-10-01T15:06:00.000-07:00

i can't breathe.
i can't think.
i can't do.. anything.

Lord, please.

[ awaiting my refuge ]

2010-09-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

click .
click .
click .

that's the sound of the pen i have in my hand, as i sit in near silence, staring at my blank piece of lined paper. it's not plain, wide-ruled or graph, although i would prefer graph paper over any other, but no, my canvas remains simple and clean, an untouched sheet of college-ruled paper.
today started as any other, i am deep within a dreamworld of fantastic color and life when something, someone taps me on my shoulder almost to say, "rise, awake." instantly, my mind begins to turn, as though it were programmed to come alive with the sound of the songbirds outside my window, who happily greet the dawn and eagerly await the warmth of the sunlight to caress their backs and tail-feathers. i am fully present, as i breathe the cool air and watch the shadows created by my curtains dance on the ceiling, coming to life with each passing and present moment.
after lyrical upon lyrical, i quickly pull my tangles out of my face and head towards my desk; the one that calls to me while i slumber, the one i share stories with, the one that brings light to the words scattered on the page. i wander down the hall, pull out a chair, and sit at the kitchen table. there is no desk, no pen, no paper; there's only me, staring into a looking-glass dreaming of the day when pen meets paper, meets desk, meets me.

goal this week

2010-08-09T22:07:00.000-07:00

1. find a home/closet for T's homeless things. living out of a suitcase or pile in the corner of Mamabear's room isn't good enough.

[ you don't have to put up your shell , suebee ]

2010-08-02T09:51:00.000-07:00

in the early hours of this morning, i stepped out of the passenger's seat, and into the driver's. as i drove, i wept, my insides felt like they were being torn from their home and all i wanted was a hug.

an hour before, mamabear + i had another conversation of many in the series to freedom, in defeating those tendencies inside you. mamabear spoke straight through me, hitting a nerve which i had kept so heavily barracked, i forgot i had it. by the look on her face, it was as if she was seeing me for the first time, and understanding flooded the car.

that car ride shown light on the past, and has given me a choice for the future.

pride takes another fall.
thank You, Jesus.

good morning, darling 'dena

2009-10-22T12:42:00.000-07:00

writing from Mj's hand-me-down, enjoying the morning air of pasadena, ca. we've been living here for the past couple months, and have been finding quirks throughout the area.. such as these:
what are they ? g i a n t l a m p s ! walking down lake st, you're able to spot these household inspired street lights... i thought them rather funny. i haven't been doing much, other than reading & working on songs... but i was able to stop by anthropologie for an hour or so, using my giftcard (thank you, A!). was delightful. :)
maybe i'll have something to write soon... lately, the need to share personal things with the world has become less appealing, perhaps it is simply a phase ? :/

for your eyes

2009-10-18T18:45:00.001-07:00

"if you love me, you will keep my commandments. and i will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you." - John 14:15-17

if you
l o v e
me, you will
k e e p
my commandments.. .

i keep repeating that to myself.. knowing that mistakes happen, and grow from them rather than allowing them to consume and become me, clouding my mind so i cannot hear His purpose, His calling.

sunday, sweet

2009-10-18T18:38:00.001-07:00

tonight, i find myself outside of fuller's gorgeous library in sweetpea pas'dena, taking in the evening air and listening to the album leaf, a favorite from high school. i haven't been on lately, since the death of my own looking-glass, tour, and not to mention the misplacement of my darling cam-am, but it's good to be back. . . updates soon. :)

coming home..

2009-08-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

darling dears,

after a summer hiatus, i am enthusiastic to announce my return as official observer, appreciator and reporter of small happenstances that have inspired my being!

unfortunately, my computer has been infected by a small V-monster; with many hours, i have faith i'll be able to bring her wireless access back to life.. . [if you are a computer wiz, please contact me asap! at suzijae@gmail.com, i nEed youu!] once that is all in order, i will be able to share with you the moments i have captured using my friend canon from this summer, and at the beginning of this new season...

thinking and praying for you, my dearest ones..

s

auntie soozu & mi-mi

2009-06-13T20:00:00.000-07:00

afternoons spent with my one & only precious niece, wandering the wild-side of irvine's concrete suburban sprawl are best described as uplifting*.

as we strolled to the park, my bare-feet seemed to stun many as they rolled by in their lexuses and mini-suvs or jogged by in their new athletic gear. though i found myself in a position feeling as though i were dressed for the wrong occasion, i was ecstatic to see such a large number of individuals taking in the saturday afternoon with their kids, playing basketball or catch, as baby M & i sat and played in the grass.

M was so exhausted, she crashed shortly after our arrival and i took a closer look at the world surrounding.

*due to stress, i find my thoughts are being sufficated with daily duties. two more months to get things in order, then.. i pray God has a place for both Mjae & me.

first moments

2009-05-22T21:34:00.001-07:00

[unfortunately, due to the fact i am not currently living in the desert, i won't be able to update you on the effects of mad-heat disease. this blog will take a personal turn]

as i start the ignition, i take a moment to remember this past year. realizing that in everyday that follows, there will be an void, lacking the laughter of my younger siblings. in all honesty, i have built my current life and total existence around them, everything i have done outside of school, evita! or work, has been either based on them or shared with them. i'll miss being woken up, fighting for a few last moments of sleep, knowing i will wake up in two minutes and take either M, J or D to school. i'll miss D and his final countdown everyday. i'll miss making fools of ourselves in public, as he guns me in the gut and i fall dead. i'll miss watching conan with J, her sweet temperament and taking pictures of her. i'll miss driving M & Mx to the ends of the earth, and talking to them during lunch. i'll miss taking pictures of my little ones, who when i go back to visit, will be grown and distant. yes, my moment quickly turned to several; as i pulled onto the i-10 w, i finally let go.

it's good that i am taking this summer for myself, by myself. i've been neglecting my spiritual, and social needs for some time.. it is probably the best move; He knows best.

packing up some.

2009-05-19T22:46:00.000-07:00

rummaging through my closet, i pull out bits and pieces of my past which seem to linger amongst the dust-covered books and aging shoe-boxes. as simple as reading a title, i am instantly drawn back into a time gone by as my mind fills with images of familiar faces and half conversations. some memories lighter than others, but with each new rediscovery and blast from the past, i am reminded of the beauty in God's work, as i piece together and tie loose ends. He truly takes each one of us and in every passing moment we are being molded and exposed to newer or more recognizable experiences at which we can grow into a much wiser, more beautiful version of ourselves. although there is a darker alternative, we may stumble and fall; i know that with the new dawn comes another chance to choose to live fully. in all this, i am so thankful for the short time i was able to grow in conversation and appreciation with a nearly stranger. he who came into my life more recently than not, reminding me of the beauty within fundamentals, and freedom within one's gifts. his wisdom i will not disregard, and his character i will admire. thank you, dear stranger. i shall return to my packing!

- - flight of the conchords tomorrow in san diego! plus K's birthday, happy birthday K! - -

nearly midnight

2009-04-25T23:53:00.000-07:00

and i am so eager to move away from this dust-bowl.. orange county, i hope you have a handful of perspectives eager to make a new friend because this place is swarming with dulls & grays. it's partially me; i'm not hooked in with an awesome church group. instead, i repeat the same night over and over with the same five people and throughout the night i am reminded and think to myself, "we have nothing in common; why am i here?" i'm not into wasting time anymore, so i am excited to state i will be on the shores of orange county in three weeks and there until august! jus' need to hook up with an awesome church, that's all i hope for! until then, i will be singing my face off and preparing for blast-off!

wishing you amazing days...

when things start to bottle up, i speak even more vaguely

2009-04-11T00:04:00.000-07:00

(photo found using unoriginal googlesearch//credit: Carlen Schmidt)

the more i look into the mirror, the more i am determined to never be photographed. my face is funny and big-featured, my body too thick and my eyes unsettling with the never-ending shame, embarrassment and defeat. to live as a disappointment and sore in others' eyes is something i must bare and i am sorry for each thing said and done. i am a babbling fool, but my only hope is that He will change this nothing of a person into something bright and beautiful... for i am nothing without He who calls us into understanding.

D-d-d-dangerous D!

2009-04-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

hanging out with D is like going on a never-ending adventure, full of entertainment and excitement; the only things necessary to embark on such a quest is an open heart and an extreme silly bone. perhaps this is why i enjoy the company of the dramatics, because they are aways willing to play along. whether it is an improv western shoot-off, or the attack on a certain elementary school student always ending in extreeeeeeme silly-walks to the parked-car (i wish i could get a picture of us s-walking the crosswalk at cougar* elementary, kinda like the beatles' abbey road but definitely more viewer-engaging!), it is always a joy to have d-d-d-d-D around.

this week, we've been running whole acts at rehearsal, so i've finally been able to share the play-experience with J & D!

they are going to blow your mind! when they sing "santa evita", the children's collective voice together moves the heart... hope you enjoy! only four more weeks until showtime!

i'm gonna really miss seeing them everyday.. . they've consumed my entire life, or at least all of my freetime, for nearly a year now, and it kinda makes me sad i won't be there to go on frogurt/library runs or pick them up from school anymore, even watch them grow up all tall and long! :/

nightmare before burritofest09

2009-04-07T13:36:00.001-07:00

burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrritoooooo fest!

M & Mx were suuuuuper hungry saturday night, so i brought them a bag of food-stuff from my current part-timer. the air was filled with happiness and joy until.....................

i murdered Mx's burrito...... in an act of desperation!, i used my burrito-molding hands to create the booooooogie maann from the nightmare before christmas for Mx to bite his face into... but upon recognizing his fear of dark creatures and ghouls, etc, i also made a friend out of my burrito, to help put him at ease biting into one of the most horrifying characters invented to frighten the lit'le ones.

after our tummies had their fill, we resorted to our onesies for a night on the town...

after a short visit to the park, ended by a certain person's paralyzing fear of the dark, we returned home and crashed like four-year-olds after an out-of-town daytrip.

****************due to a collapsing lung and a recently threatened immune system, i find myself only able to share so many words.

<3

lighten your heart; lighten your load

2009-04-06T09:23:00.000-07:00

moments after waking up this morning, i came across this little snippet of sound; it's beautiful. brings back memories of city nightlights and a wandering soloist seeking any form of comfort but only finding it in the familiarity of one voice : curbside singer.

afternoon out in the sun

2009-03-30T23:09:00.001-07:00

today during lunch, M texted me her usual.

"I'm hungry, sister"

i usually get a text just after i drop her off from school, or during lunch or whenever she takes a moment to realize "oh, my body is crying out with hungry pains, i think i'm starving now".

during this one-way text-sesh, i neglected to respond due to my date with the sun. so i got a phone call and we devised a plan to sneak away from all other social engagements from 3:30pm until roughly 6pm to play soccer in the park...

what we didn't realize after we dropped J off at home, is that there were only THREE of us; so when we arrived, it became an afternoon dedicated to catching rays and thinking up any game to entertain our minds..

Mx even tried the "She's the Man" soccer toss

After a quick game of tag, M taught us how to back-bend. [eep!]

and lastly, M took about a million model shots of Mx before we packed up and called it a day.

hope your afternoon was as eventful or more so than ours! wishing you well, and all a good night.

<3 s

"out of my laaa-BOR-a-tory!"

2009-03-30T22:47:00.000-07:00

last week, D came into the kitchen and nearly squealed!

"Mom got corn starch?!!!!"

immediately, he began to concoct a plan of some sort for the morning.
he quickly put his shoes on, made his lunch and in five minutes his scheming was in effect!

Mr. W apparently showed D and his classmates how to make "Ooooooziplex", a substance which is a solid and a liquid. Absurd, yeah? When in the bowl it is a liquid,

but when pressure is applied to the substance, it becomes a solid...

then... it returns to being a liquid!!!!

how do you make such an amazing little wonder, you ask?!
s i m p l e . combine h2o with corn starch and you'll have yourself a ball... at least we did! :]

D's one incredible guy, i'll tell you one thing...

weekend recap!

2009-03-29T23:37:00.000-07:00

the past three nights or so, i've come home to a slumbering household. my part-timer has kept me out late, and i have the battle scars to prove it, but being away has given me great expectations for tomorrow...

tomorrow, i can finally spend some time with the little ones... !! i get to drive them to school! from being with M, D & J nonstop! to seeing them only while they're dreaming has put me in deep withdrawals for their company; i'm stoked to get back into the mama-game.

during my absence, T had his birthday fiesta at the elephant bar; heard it was dinner, followed by rummikub and a night on the town. J also had her play this past weekend; Mama enjoyed reminiscing and comparing the non-musical "wagon wheels a-rollin'" to the former musical "wagon wheels west" which Mj, S & i played in nearly fourteen years ago. . . sounds like a rather amazing weekend had. <3

in addition to driving the youngins to escuela, i decided it was high time to grab some fro-yo for the go-yo and hit the poolside. i've grown awfully pastelike, not having a moment between class and part-timing, that i'm sooo thankful for those couple hours tomorrow i can spend making friends with the sun again. (ps. i'll try to put some sunblock on, K & S; wouldn't want may of 2008 to revisit us!!)

i should get snooozin', it's nearly midnight. God bless; wishing you well from this desert place.

<3<3

ps

2009-03-28T02:36:00.000-07:00

so, the music recital i had been practicing for all month was today...
it went well.

happy birthday, T

2009-03-28T01:50:00.000-07:00

unfortunately, i was absent from all festivities involving the celebration of T on his birthday.

h a p p y
b i r t h d a y ,
T !

hope you enjoyed every moment of your first day into adulthood.

mornings with M

2009-03-26T22:54:00.000-07:00

"suuuuzi! it's seven ten! it's seven ten!"

M woke me up this morning, unknowingly quoting gilmore girls. as i struggled between doing the good, sisterly-thing and trying to get just a few last moments of rest, i finally jumped out of bed and into my dino-pajamanas*, accompanied by the complimenting jedidiah shirt of a girl dressed in, what appears to be, a dino suit! stoked at the coincidence, i ran to the car after realizing there was a crazed loon with a camera running after me!!

to say the least, driving with M in the morning to school always seems to coincide with the silliest moments of my entire day.

ps. gossip girl here: spotted! Mx meeting M at the front of the school. plus Mx spotting me spotting them!

prepare for TFEST09

2009-03-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

T's turning eighteen in less than two hours, so we schemed up a little surprise to inspire celebratory thoughts and a lightness of heart upon entering his adulthood.

with the help of Mj, D & J, we were able to complete step one.

step two is yet to be completed. . ..

the graduate

2009-03-26T00:38:00.000-07:00

* (due to my lack of blogspot prior to the past two days, i thought i'd share some older but still relevent news)

M had been working on the production of "the graduate" at the high school as assistant director. she was putting in hours upon hours, and i must say in addition to being one of the most inappropriate scripts ever written, it was unbelievably capturing. M did an amazing job bringing this piece to life; i understand it wasn't only M, but the cast and crew also who were able to turn these unsettling words written on a page into a reality. although i am indifferent to the content of the play, this production was the best i had ever seen at the local high school. b r a v o .

M's flowers from just-after the production. <3

ps. Mx did an amazing job as well, shook J & i to the bone.

so scruuump

2009-03-26T00:36:00.000-07:00

J & friends

2009-03-25T23:03:00.000-07:00

about three weeks ago, J brought over friends A & lit'le M after school. lit'le M, a face i had only recognized from the latest middle school production of "BLEACHERS", was new to the house while A and i have gone waaaaay back to the time when i decided to make egg-whites versus the oh-so-popular scrambled eggs for breakfast...

after about an hour of sitting in my room with these three, showing them my latest find at fashion factory, they agreed to let me dress and feed them before they headed out for a movie.

lit'le M was the first, and i went with a recycled outfit once worn by the lovely M during our fifteen-minute nightlife a few months ago. for J, i had just found these feathers at forever21 that i knew would be the cornerstone of her tonightlife, plus her messy hair (unable to really see in the minimal amount of pictures) added sooo much.. i adored my little indian princess. <3 as for A, it took me a while to make everything somewhat fit. i knew i wanted to embrace her beautiful, light complexion so i went with the grays and the pearl/off-whites..

after a couple snapshots, i knew it was best when dealing with three hungry middle school girls to put the camera down and get-quick to the kitchen! fifteen minutes later, we all had our fill of tomato basil pasta! <3

ps. if you haven't heard, J has taken quite fondly to the keyed-musicbox that has been collecting dust in a corner of our livingspace. the simple act of turning off the tube for one night allows room for minds to wander and creativity to develop.. <3

M wins!

2009-03-25T15:14:00.000-07:00

about a week too late, but here's the official CONGRATULATIONS! to my baby sister, M, for winning her election! she now holds more responsibility for her class of 2011 and entire student body as ASB executive secretary!

in addition to the T-shirt campaigning venture, M and i went to the high school at the break of dawn, fought and conquered the key-poster spot !! yes, yes... we got the stage and owned. also, M's bf Mx [or so we will refer to him as thanks to MJ's suggestion!!] surprised her with a hug, a starbucks and his support throughout her campaign.

C o n g r a t s , M !

*note : our house

2009-03-25T12:55:00.000-07:00

when you live in our house, organized chaos is key to survival. for example, D is turning twelve this year, and for the past five years or so, he hasn't really had a place to call his own, such as a bedroom. thus, you will find his things throughout the house, laid out as if it were their proper place.

stoked to catch him in the act* <3

break || fast

2009-03-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

monday and wednesday mornings between 9am and 10am, i have an hour to do whatever my heart desires..

today, there was an immense craving for nutrition; thus, i found the tub of yogurt in the fridge and added some tasty delights to the mix : riping-red strawberries and a handful of bran flakes (minus the raisins---nasty stuff).

there i sat, at a table arranged for production and use[!!], reading proverbs, allowing He who has called me to sow seeds into my heart and soul. it was the most beautiful morning, really. mary drove the kids to school, while i was able to sit and enjoy the silent company. thank You for these sweet moments of quiet reflection. <3>

morning regulars

2009-03-25T08:33:00.000-07:00

It's the last few months of D's Cougarhood, and he doesn't want to waste one moment. As soon as the clock hits 8:30am he's out the door, eager to make the most of his six and a half hours of schoolmates and playground fun-yuuns. i just smile as he tells me about his latest stories about C, G and his beloved E. Oh!, how I adore these precious moments spent in the mid-morning with D.

move me, swinger

2009-03-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

Today while drinking Strawberry & Banana Nectar accompanied by a glass of H2O, I decided to embark on an adventure in untested waters; I decided to start a blog.

My days are filled with small bits of joyful activities and wondrous thrills that I thought I might as well share with the world! Although, I am far from crafty, I take pleasure in admiring the works of those talented artists I have acquainted myself with.

More specifically, I have come to enjoy the moving sounds of the Preservation Hall Jazz Band (found on daytrotter.com). They have the ability to take you back to the early 20th century, to the Chicago nightlife of drinking and dancing to the brilliant, big tunes of the jamming band. Oh!, how I am so thankful to know the music still lives!